Lessons Learned, Viva la Vie Boehme!

We packed up and flew out of town, well as fast as you can fly in an RV, towing a car, in LA traffic, that is standing still. It seems the past week took its toll on more than just me. We are, after all, the Three Musket Ears. (This is what Cotye thought we were saying in the beginning and we thought it was cute, so The Three Musket Ears it is!)

Giving all you've got, and then leaning on the Grace of God when you run dry, is hard to explain to someone who has not been there yet, but to those who have, you know exactly what I mean.

I am so grateful for this past week with my sister. We laughed, we cried, I hope I helped her understand some of what she is going through. She seems calmer; no longer throwing fits of rage or becoming uncontrollably agitated. I feel like I need to be there 24/7 to insure she stays comfortable, but I know that is not an option.

I did take away a few “lessons learned” from this experience that I’d like to share. 

Lesson One)

There is safety in numbers  OR  Little old ladies are bad asses!

Remember The Penguin? The guy that would sit in his room and yell unintelligible, scary things that would frighten me so bad I’d run past his room with my head down?

One evening I was sitting next to my sister’s bed, she was sleeping quietly and I could hear The Penguin, he was banging his tray table around and screaming up a storm (still can’t understand him…it is some serious mumble/yelling).

I also heard some women whispering outside the door.

“What is he saying?”

“I don’t know but he sure is mad.”

“Yes, he is angry a lot.”

I peeked out to see four cute little women in their wheelchairs; two on each side of The Penguin’s door. He was new to the facility and they were, as inconspicuously as possible, trying to get the skinny on this new enigma. All I could think of was, gosh they were brave! And then the nurse’s aide came and shooed us all away.

After that, I realized how silly I had been. He was just a man. I was determined to get a look at this guy. I walked towards his door, leaned in for a peek, He let out a scream/mumble and I about peed my pants as I ran away.

I don’t know, maybe your ovaries drop and you grow a pair of kahuna’s when you reach your 80's. I just don’t get why I am such a big chicken. Now I’ll never know what the REAL Penguin looks like.

Lesson Two)

It’s the Simple Things in Life  OR  You can’t control the wind but you can adjust your sail.

I needed a distraction and found I could no longer work on my Expert level of Sudoku with a pen, much less do the Beginner Level in Crayon. The brain is always the first to go when stress hits, at least for me. I resorted to Word Find, which, if you are an avid puzzle doer, you know these don't count; as puzzles they are for toddlers.

However, it was obvious I was disintegrating in the chaos that was my surroundings, so I found the simple act of completing a Word Find, in the order the words were listed, and forming PERFECT circles around each word, gave me the order I needed, one page at a time. This kept my mind from running a around in circles, in full blaze, inside of my skull.

Lesson Three)

When one falls, they all fall  OR  I am the glue.

I knew I was beginning to struggle when I had gone from Wonder Woman on steroids to, I wonder where I put my cane. I was struggling with walking, sleeping, breathing, everything was falling apart. I half expected the nursing staff to mix me up for a patient and force me into a bed. Not that I would have complained.

Since “the boys” stayed home every day and watched TV, took leisurely walks, and basically chilled while I was gone, I assumed they were doing fine. Turns out they were both going nuts. Cotye started to lose his hair - - he must have felt the stress in the air, or was bothered by my not sleeping at night - - he is so sensitive. And Mark, he was very understanding with where I needed to be, but there he sat, watching the walls close in on him a bit more each day. He was starting to go a bit off his rocker.

Either we are all connected on a really deep level, and/or I am the glue that holds this family together . . . the glue fails, the parts fall off. Maybe I should ask for a bigger paycheck? Wait, am I comparing myself to an old horse who has been sent to the glue factory?…I should probably rethink that one.

Lesson Number Four)

How to say good-bye to a loved one  OR  Pull the Band-aid off quickly, then run!

Jeri and I both knew the day and time we’d be saying good-bye. We talked about it often so she would be ready. And I spent every moment that I wasn't tending to her, holding her hand or stroking her head, and telling her I love her, constantly. By the time “the moment” arrived, I simply leaned over, gave her a kiss and a hug, told her I loved her, again, and that I would call her tomorrow.  

I walked through her door, thanked her nurses, then practically ran out of the building; did run to the car and had Mark hit the gas and drive away as fast as possible. No, we did not go back to the RV where I could wallow… but rather to a nice restaurant where the atmosphere demanded celebration. Celebration for the time I got to spend with Jeri; celebration of her life; celebration of the possibility that I will see her again. One never knows.

We have been in semi-seclusion for two days now. I talk to Jeri daily. She sounds well. Had a bit of a scare when they connected me to the wrong room last night and a woman, who could not speak due to a recent stroke yelled into the phone at me . . . Thank God they hadn't accidentally connected me to The Penguin! Can you imagine?

Meanwhile, all three of us are still convalescing. Cotye’s hair stopped falling out but he is sleeping a lot. Mark too is sleeping around the clock but is not so purple in the face, and me…I've put away my cane, or did I lose it?…no matter, it is not needed at the moment and that’s a start.

The best part is we are finally living life day-to-day. It took us almost six months to reach this point and it is like a bit of heaven we thought we may never taste.

Here is to Good Health and Great Adventures. 

I have always said real life makes for the best stories 
and I love telling a good story!  

Viva la Vie Boehme!