Has anyone else noticed the
similarities between humans in their infancy stage and the geriatric phase? I
don’t like what I am seeing.
I think those of us nearing our
retirement age should seriously be thinking of alternative means
of care, rather than that given by current standard nursing homes.
There must be another way. Why
should we, who have been toilet trained, go back to wearing diapers? Go from
preparing our own meals, to having mystery meals prepared and spoon fed to us, excess dribbling down our chin?
Live our whole adult lives only
to age and be told how late we can stay up, what we can watch on TV, or even
when and if we can watch TV.
We are simply moving backwards
in time. Except, instead of ending back at the love and comfort of our mother’s
bosom, we end up at the mercy of strangers who are paid to care for us.
Take the basic wheelchair for starters. Designs have not changed much in the past few decades. Why not try hover-mode, rubber
bumpers, personalized horns, and satellite radios?
And diapers; gosh, there must be
a way to avoid this messiness, again! What
about some sort of spaceman-like pants that just suck the schmud right out of you…no goosh involved.
Food: If you can no longer chew,
why not replace with delicious, nutrient infused liquid options, such as Margarita or Daiquiri
flavored protein shakes, alcohol optional?
The only Jello on the premises would be in a shallow
swimming pool in the courtyard.
Activities coordinators could
be so much more creative - - - What about replacing afternoon Bingo, with a
Bounce house? At the end of each bounce session, think how much fun it would be
as each person scrambled to collect their own extra bits! It would be like a life-size
game of Mr/Mrs Potato Head, with everyone attempting to match up the right
hairpiece, teeth, hearing aids, etc. to the right person.
Or perhaps a rollicking game of
hide-and-seek while wearing florescent balloon animal hats in a black-light lit,
padded, activity room? The possibilities are endless.
Forget curfew and other
non-grown up rules. Kitchen is open 24/7 . . . If one wants to eat dinner at
2pm or 2am, the customer is always right.
Today at my sister’s nursing
facility there was a gentleman, laid back in what looked like a giant pram,
taking what looked to be the most comfortable nap of his life. Now that looked
like freedom.
In our “golden” years, we need something
to look forward to.
Creative minds unite! For
our future looks like a big old déjà vu of our beginnings, but with all of the
good bits removed. M (tic-tock)
It was a surreal day of reality, hitting gray matter, hitting emotion...hitting the wall...
Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I’ll
be dealing with less emotion, more gray matter and zero walls.
Meanwhile, once again we found
ourselves back at our new fave, the old Norms!
I like Norm's.
We both were laughing out loud reading your blog today! There are lots of pretty nice options to nursing homes now if your health and finances permit. Unfortunately, if your are stuck in a bed unable to do much it doesn't matter which place you are in. We think people who work with the elderly in facilities should be paid at least twice what they are presently paid, ideally, even more. It's a shame that people in the service industry, including teachers are so poorly regarded. One never knows who you might be at the mercy of at the end of your life! This was so much like Erma Bombeck! Strannie says that with a little tweaking it would be ready for publication! She's thinking about the best places to send it.
ReplyDeleteDear Roooot & Trannie - that's the best compliment anyone could have paid me. I love Erma's humor. She understood that we all feel like big goofs at one time or another. So is your roomie looking for a side job as my publisher? (wink)
DeleteI know what you means, Ivah! I visited my father-in-law for a month at a nursing
ReplyDeletehome. It was depressing to say the least. He had gallbladder surgery and had to stay there until the infections were gone. Fortunately my parents and Paul's parents never had to go to a nursing home. They either died at home or in a hospital.
Well, nursing homes and dying are all depressing no matter where it is, at the moment. Maybe dying on a private yacht from the best meal ever wouldn't be such a bad way to go. Just eat that final after dinner mint, like on Monty Python and blow up like an over-filled balloon. I hope God makes use of my weird sense of humor and lets me die in a fun fashion. Meanwhile, cheers to a long life!
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